Harried Mum has been harried. Although we are pleased to be here, this move to London has been all the bad things. Let us take a short tour down memory lane...
Fun Daddy went to London 6 weeks ahead of the rest of the family, leaving Harried Mum as the sole parent for 6 weeks. Was that fun? No. It was not. And what happened? Well. Here are some things that happened.
- It snowed. 70 million times. Harried Mum had to shovel the driveway. A lot. Once I had a bad head cold and felt particularly sorry for myself.
- The nanny occasionally did not show up for work due to the snow, and Harried Mum's boss was not impressed. That was stressful.
- Everyone missed Fun Daddy very much. Even Psycho Cat.
- Trouble caught every illness possible. Sometimes twice.
- Lunatic Child somehow contrived to be bitten by something to which he had an allergic reaction, resulting in a massive case of hives. In February. It's like he has a special talent.
- It was cold. So very cold. And the kids could not go outside. And everyone was losing their mind.
And how did we cope? We imposed on our friends and loved ones, of course!!
One of the best things we did was drive down to Washington, DC to visit some of Harried Mum's old friends for a long weekend. I feel this trip is worth a special mention because (a) I drove for 4 1/2 hours each way with 2 kids in the car to avoid being home alone with them for a long weekend, and (b) Lunatic Chid was SO BAD, and I still owe them a gift for letting my children wreck their home.
And what did he do that was so naughty?
- Left alone in the basement while he was supposed to be sleeping, Lunatic Child got into their childrens' art supplies. He dumped an entire pack of glitter over himself, basically coating himself, his bed and pretty much everything downstairs in a thin film of glitter. He also drew all over himself with a green marker and left it uncapped on his sheets, ruining the sheets. Sorry everyone!
- Took a giant poo in their toilet downstairs, and then locked himself OUT of it, claiming he 'needed some alone time'. Hosts had to break into their own toilet. Sorry everyone!
- Unscrewed the taps from their upstairs bathroom sink and put them in the toilet bowl.
- Had Stage 3 Nuclear Meltdown in Air and Space Museum when told he couldn't cut the line of 50 kids waiting to drive a rocket on display. Friends had to take Trouble, who was a SAINT in comparison the entire weekend, while I calmed him down.
My friends' daughters are older and were so horrified by the chaos unleashed in their home that they basically didn't come out of their rooms for the entire weekend. Sorry girls!!
But, you know what. It was SO WORTH IT. I drank wine with my friends after my unspeakable children had gone to bed and had adult conversation, and it was so nice to see them. I had a great weekend. Thanks again for letting me impose!!!!! I realize you probably didn't know what it would entail...
Our next installment will deal with things we learned upon moving back to the UK, namely that all the sh*t that fits in your big American home with its full basement and 2 car garage does NOT fit in your small 4 bedroom terrace house in London.
Love You All
Harried Mum
Friday, May 9, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
A glimpse of the future...
Hello my loves!!!!
And what is everyone up to these days? Harried Mum is going bonkers at work while Fun Daddy is doing all the heavy lifting on organizing our move back to London. Harried Mum is forever grateful.
In my quieter moments I like to try and predict Lunatic Child's future occupation. This morning, he
was very concerned that my shoes didn't look very good with my sweater. I had to explain that mummy was wearing sensible shoes to walk through the snow to the train station and my pretty shoes were in my bag. Maybe there's a career in fashion in his future?
I think it's more likely, however, that Lunatic Child might be destined to be a lawyer like Harried
Mum. Lunatic Child has become obsessed with the word stupid. We have explained that it is not a
nice word and we don't say it. His way around the prohibition is to repeat, 17 times per day, that "Stupid!!!......................is not a nice word." Over and over and over again. Finally, Harried Mum lost her shit and pronounced a blanket ban. "If I hear that word come out of your mouth one more time, you are going to your room." Lunatic Child's immediate response was to start mouthing the
word stupid at me. Nice try, but we obey the spirit as well as the letter of the law in this house, and
Lunatic Child had to spend some time in his room as a result.
Meanwhile, my Trouble. He knows how to wind his brother up. The only thing that Trouble's heart
desires is whatever is in his brother's hand at any given moment. The other day, Lunatic Child was
holding a toy out of Trouble's reach while shrieking "Nooooo!!" at the top of his lungs. It was Lunatic Child's Christmas present from Santa, so I was sympathetic to his lack of desire to share. Trouble, enraged, was whacking him with both hands as hard as he could. Trouble can't make such fine distinctions. He wanted it. It was not being provided. He was mad as hell and not going to take
it. I should have intervened right away, but I was weak from laughter. It was hideous, but it's my future, so I might as well see the humor in it I suppose.
Rotten babies. Both of them. But they are so very, very funny. I love them like crazy.
Hope you're all well! Toodles my noodles!!! Until next time.
Harried Mum
And what is everyone up to these days? Harried Mum is going bonkers at work while Fun Daddy is doing all the heavy lifting on organizing our move back to London. Harried Mum is forever grateful.
In my quieter moments I like to try and predict Lunatic Child's future occupation. This morning, he
was very concerned that my shoes didn't look very good with my sweater. I had to explain that mummy was wearing sensible shoes to walk through the snow to the train station and my pretty shoes were in my bag. Maybe there's a career in fashion in his future?
I think it's more likely, however, that Lunatic Child might be destined to be a lawyer like Harried
Mum. Lunatic Child has become obsessed with the word stupid. We have explained that it is not a
nice word and we don't say it. His way around the prohibition is to repeat, 17 times per day, that "Stupid!!!......................is not a nice word." Over and over and over again. Finally, Harried Mum lost her shit and pronounced a blanket ban. "If I hear that word come out of your mouth one more time, you are going to your room." Lunatic Child's immediate response was to start mouthing the
word stupid at me. Nice try, but we obey the spirit as well as the letter of the law in this house, and
Lunatic Child had to spend some time in his room as a result.
Meanwhile, my Trouble. He knows how to wind his brother up. The only thing that Trouble's heart
desires is whatever is in his brother's hand at any given moment. The other day, Lunatic Child was
holding a toy out of Trouble's reach while shrieking "Nooooo!!" at the top of his lungs. It was Lunatic Child's Christmas present from Santa, so I was sympathetic to his lack of desire to share. Trouble, enraged, was whacking him with both hands as hard as he could. Trouble can't make such fine distinctions. He wanted it. It was not being provided. He was mad as hell and not going to take
it. I should have intervened right away, but I was weak from laughter. It was hideous, but it's my future, so I might as well see the humor in it I suppose.
Rotten babies. Both of them. But they are so very, very funny. I love them like crazy.
Hope you're all well! Toodles my noodles!!! Until next time.
Harried Mum
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