Lunatic Child and famille went to Great Grandma's house today. Great Grandma has a frog pond in the backyard. See if you can guess where this one is going...
If you guessed that Lunatic Child managed to fall into the pond in 3 minutes or less, you win a small prize.
Poor Lunatic Child. He just wanted to see the frogs. The pond is a sunken bathtub, and he was leaning over it in a precarious manner. I was waddling along behind him, and I told him to back away. Since he is 2, he immediately said no, turned around and backed away from me as I reached out to grab him, and the end result was that he tipped into the tub backwards. I could see his little shocked face as he sank slowly beneath the pond weed.
I hauled him out in about 5 seconds, but he was absolutely covered in pond goo, reeked to high heaven and was fairly well traumatised. Fun Daddy was SHOCKED at my negligent parenting and came storming over, saying "What are you doing?" Well, obviously, I'm letting him fall into the pond ON PURPOSE as I think it will be a Good Learning Experience. I mean, really. I'm a million months pregnant. I'm not moving that fast. I did my best. Worse things have happened to 2 year olds than being dunked in a stinky pond. He can work it out in therapy later. It will give him something to talk about.
After a bath, laundered clothes and a cookie, he was amazingly recovered and had a fantastic afternoon playing with his much older cousins. They tossed him around for several hours. I'm really surprised he didn't chuck it. He was so completely exhausted when we got him in the car.
I am fairly sure he's not permanently mentally scarred, so all's well that ends well. I think we'll be finding pond weed in various orifices for a few days however. That stuff is pernicious.